Have you ever wondered why change feels so incredibly hard?

We make New Year’s resolutions. We vow to stop losing our temper. We promise ourselves we will finally apply for that promotion or start that side business. But then, a week or a month later, we slide right back into our old habits.

We usually blame our “willpower.” We tell ourselves we just aren’t strong enough.

But according to psychological research, willpower isn’t the problem. The problem is your Mindset.

Specifically, the battle between a Fixed Mindset (believing your traits and abilities are set in stone) and a Growth Mindset (believing you can develop and change through effort).

Changing your life isn’t like getting hip replacement surgery. You don’t just go in, remove the “old beliefs,” and insert shiny “new beliefs.” Instead, new beliefs have to be built alongside the old ones, slowly becoming stronger until they take over.

In this post, we are going to explore how your brain actually changes, why “trying hard” isn’t enough, and the specific four-step journey to silencing your inner critic.

The Inner Monologue: The Judge vs. The Learner

We all have a voice in our heads. It monitors everything we do. But depending on your mindset, that voice speaks a very different language.

The Fixed Mindset Voice is a Judge.

Imagine a graphic designer named Mike. Mike sends a logo draft to a client, and the client rejects it with a lot of notes.

• The Judge says: “You’re a hack. You have no talent. You should just quit before everyone realizes you’re a fraud.”
• The result? Mike feels paralyzed and defensive. He might blame the client or procrastinate on the revision.

The Growth Mindset Voice is a Learner.

Now, let’s look at the same situation through a growth lens.

• The Learner says: “Ouch, that feedback was tough. But the client is right about the color contrast. I need to learn more about color theory to fix this. This is a chance to get better.”
• The result? Mike is stung, but he takes action.

Cognitive therapy teaches us to manage these judgments, but the Growth Mindset goes deeper—it stops the need to judge yourself in the first place. It shifts the focus from “Am I good enough?” to “How can I improve?”

Brainology: Your Brain is a Muscle

For a long time, people thought the brain was a mystery box—you were born smart, average, or not-so-smart, and that was it.

New research shows the brain is actually more like a muscle. When you learn new things, tiny connections in your brain (neurons) multiply and get stronger.

In a workshop called “Brainology,” researchers taught students this simple fact: Every time you struggle with a hard problem, your brain is forming new connections.

The results were incredible. Students who previously refused to do homework because they didn’t want to look “dumb” suddenly started working harder. They realized that feeling confused wasn’t a sign of stupidity; it was the feeling of their brain growing.

One student, who had been failing, looked at the researchers with tears in his eyes and asked, “You mean I don’t have to be dumb?”

No. You don’t. You are in charge of your mind.

The 4-Step Journey to Changing Your Mindset

So, how do we actually do this? How do we move from the Fixed Mindset to the Growth Mindset? It is not a magical switch you flip. It is a journey involving four specific steps.

Step 1: Embrace Your Fixed Mindset

This might sound counterintuitive. Shouldn’t we banish the fixed mindset?

The truth is, we all have a fixed mindset somewhere. We are all a mixture. Maybe you have a growth mindset about your career, but a fixed mindset about your diet (“I’m just naturally chubby”).

If you try to deny you have a fixed mindset, you can’t manage it. Acknowledge it. Say, “Okay, part of me is scared that I can’t change.” Welcome to the human race.

Step 2: Identify Your Triggers

When does your “fixed” persona show up? You need to become a detective of your own emotions.

• Is it when you are under a tight deadline?
• Is it when someone criticizes your work?
• Is it when you see a friend succeed on social media and you feel a pang of jealousy?

For example, a manager might find that her fixed mindset triggers whenever her team falls behind. Instead of helping, she becomes a perfectionist tyrant because she feels their failure reflects on her fixed ability as a leader.

Step 3: Name Your Persona

This is the most powerful step. Give your fixed-mindset persona a name.

Make it a character. It could be “Critical Karen,” “Perfect Patrick,” or “Doomsday Dan.”

• Example: A writer named Sarah calls her persona “The Editor.” When she tries to write a first draft, “The Editor” shows up and whispers, That sentence is trash. You’ll never be published.
• Example: A student named Tom calls his persona “Lazy Larry.” When things get hard, Larry says, Why bother? Let’s just play video games. It’s safer not to try.

Naming it separates you from the voice. It allows you to look at the thought and say, “Oh, hearing a lot from Doomsday Dan today.”

Step 4: Educate Your Persona

Now that you’ve named it, don’t scream at it. Talk to it.

Remember, your fixed mindset was created to protect you. It wants to keep you safe from failure. So, treat it like a scared child who refuses to get on a roller coaster.

How to talk to your persona:

• “Look, Doomsday Dan, I know you’re scared I’m going to fail at this new business. But staying in this job I hate isn’t an option. I’m going to take this one small step. Bear with me.”
• “Perfect Patrick, I know you want this project to be flawless. But right now, I just need to get it done. We can polish it later.”

Take your persona along for the ride, but don’t let them drive the car.

Why “I’ll Do It Tomorrow” Never Works

We often rely on vague vows to change. “I’ll start dieting tomorrow.” “I’ll control my temper next time.”

Research shows that vowing is useless. What works is Concrete Planning.

This is the difference between:

• Vague Vow: “I will study more.”
• Concrete Plan: “On Wednesday morning, right after I brush my teeth, I will sit at my desk, close the door, and read Chapter 4.”

You need to visualize the When, Where, and How.

Let’s look at Anger.

Imagine a husband, John, who snaps at his wife when the house is messy. He feels justified in the moment (“She knows I hate clutter!”), but guilty later. He vows, “I won’t yell next time.”

But he has no plan. So, the next time he sees toys on the floor, he yells again.

The Growth Mindset Plan for John:

John needs to realize his anger comes from feeling disrespected. He needs a strategy, not just willpower.

• Plan: “When I walk in and see clutter, I will feel the anger rising. I will immediately walk to the bedroom, take three deep breaths, and remind myself that toys on the floor do not mean my wife doesn’t care about me. Then, I will go back out and ask calmly if we can clean up together.”

Conclusion: The Maintenance Phase

Changing your mindset is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It requires constant maintenance.

Just because you went to the gym once doesn’t mean you are fit forever. Just because you used a growth mindset today doesn’t mean “Critical Karen” won’t show up tomorrow.

But is it worth it?

People who have made this journey report that their lives feel richer. They feel more alive. They stop worrying about proving to the world that they are perfect, and start enjoying the messy, difficult, beautiful process of becoming better.

You have a choice. You can keep listening to the judge in your head, or you can start a conversation with the learner. Which voice will you listen to today?

Credit / References

Book Name: Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

Author Name: Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

This article explores concepts and research presented by Carol S. Dweck in her seminal book. All stories and examples in this blog post have been rewritten and adapted for illustrative purposes, while maintaining the core psychological principles discovered by the author.

Copyright Disclaimer

“This article is written for educational and informational purposes only.

No copyright infringement is intended.

All original ideas and concepts belong to their respective author(s).

For any concerns or queries, please contact:

contact@mohitsidana.com”

FAQs

1. What is the “False Growth Mindset”?

The “False Growth Mindset” happens when people think having a growth mindset just means being open-minded or praising effort even when there are no results. It’s not just about saying “good job for trying.” It is about trying new strategies and seeking help when your current effort isn’t working.

2. Can I have a fixed mindset in one area and a growth mindset in another?

Absolutely. It is very common to have a growth mindset about your hobbies (e.g., “I can get better at tennis if I practice”) but a fixed mindset about your personality (e.g., “I’m just an anxious person and I can’t change”). The goal is to identify where your fixed mindset is hiding.

3. Why is willpower not enough to change habits?

Willpower is often a fixed-mindset trap. It assumes you are either strong or weak. A growth mindset relies on strategies, not strength. If you want to lose weight, don’t just “be strong”; create a plan, change your environment, and prepare for setbacks so you don’t give up entirely after one mistake.

4. How do I help my child develop a growth mindset?

Start by changing how you praise them. Instead of saying “You’re so smart,” say “I love how hard you worked on that problem.” Also, share your own struggles. Talk about your “fixed mindset persona” at the dinner table so they learn that struggling is a normal part of learning.

5. What if I slip back into a fixed mindset?

That is normal! Do not beat yourself up. Treat the slip-up as data. Ask yourself: What triggered me? Was I tired? Was I threatened? Then, talk to your persona again and get back on track. Change is a journey, not a destination.